How it began

It’s seven years since they brought me home. 

Mom calls it “gotcha day”, which is apparently a thing in adoption lingo. I find it rather aggressive-sounding. “Gotcha” is what I think when I pin a struggling lizard between my teeth and feel its satisfying squish. I don’t wish to associate it with my being enfolded into my domicile and family, but then again, perhaps it is appropriate, at that. 

I’ve also heard the term “furever home” which, I’ll be honest, sounds a bit twee, but such wordplay seems to please humans. I suppose if dogs shared their capacity for vocabulary, we would come up with silly words, too. 

I will admit, my celebratory feelings are somewhat mixed. I spent my first six months in the unfettered freedom of the countryside. There were no fences. No walls. No leashes. No vets. The world was mine. I came and went, and waved my wild tail where I pleased. The humans I lived with allowed me free reign, the use of their house and bed and food. 

And then one day my new family showed up, a group of two large and three small humans. They brought me to a home in the suburbs - a place where I was expected to constrain my natural urges. Expected to pee outside. To stay inside a fence. To bark at actual threats but not imagined ones. To eat only dry pellets from a bowl on the floor. 

In return there were baths, medicine to relieve me of parasites, soft beds, toys, attention, petting, and training. I am not always convinced it was an even trade.

The lady who relinquished me called me “Christian” because she said the marks on my face looked like a cross. Mom thought they looked like Gene Simmons makeup, but didn’t say so at the time. Anyway, she decided within a few days that if I met Jesus I would stand on his lap and try to assert dominance, so she changed my name. 

She’s kind of a fantasy book nerd, with an interest in old welsh mythology. So they named me “Gwydion”, after a legendary figure who was as known for sneaky pranks as he was for great heroics. 

In hindsight, Mom was pretty prescient about me. 

This is my blog.